World of Mommy

So, I was on facebook today and checking out pictures of a friends baby who was just born.  It brought back all the warm fuzzies from when Miss F was born.  It had me remembering everything that went on during those exciting first days.

It mostly brought back the memory of the weirdest feeling that I have ever felt.  After having Miss F at 1:32 in the morning, it took hours for the hubby, baby and I to finally get a bit of sleep for the first time.  I had probably only caught twenty minutes of sleep or so before waking up.  Upon waking up I remember that ``where the heck am I feeling``, the kind you get when you go on vacation and wake up the first day confused for all of 2.5 seconds until you realize where you are at.  Anyway, I remember rubbing my eyes and looking around and realizing that I was in the hospital.  I remember looking over at the little see through bassinet that held my precious baby girl who was sound asleep.  That was when I had it, the weirdest feeling ever.

The last time I had fallen asleep, I had woken up to just my husband.  This time, I was waking up to a tiny person who depended on me for everything.  I take myself to the bathroom when I need to go,  I make my food when I am hungry.  I go to sleep when I am tired.  It took a minute to sink in and fully understand that this tiny little person needed me to help her do all these things.  I had prepared myself for this thought long before I gave birth, but actually BEING in that situation and realizing how fully real it is.  Well...that is scary as hell.

It was a weird feeling.  Don`t get me wrong I was up for the challenge, and thrilled to be her mom.  Still, it was an odd feeling.  I did what all mommy`s do...I took a deep breath, looked around and threw myself into the World of Mommy.  What an awesome word that is!